Monday, June 28, 2010
Prevenient Grace
On a personal note, thank you Scott for all of your time and efforts on my behalf, and of course the novel, without you we wouldn't be here, at this place and time.
For the others who have spared no time or expense in extending themselves, I thank you.
And for the one who dropped the ball, well, I don't know exactly what to say, other than I wish you hadn't. Even though this is a tremendous amount of work, you would've discovered its worth, work in this genre is a blessing, no matter the trial.
So here we go...
She knew exhaustion, writing prose that she truly believed in, at first.
When he came into the picture, 'he' being the man that she held the utmost trust in, her self view altered.
Quite frankly he did her a diservice with his disbelief.
She wavered
where she would've never before
Prior to him
she held strong onto the dream
She didn't believe that I would read her prose
that I would see
happen upon it
as so many others would
before me
I found out later, in a long list of men, that they too had approached her
speaking the ultimate un truth:
"I am Declan"
when they could not be
or even close
I have been in search of Prevenient Grace
It was I who kneeled praying for it
as did she
While I played the piano,
seeking solace
I realized that her prayers mirrored my own
that he had hurt her tremendously
that she was lost
I witnessed this in her eyes
reflecting an urgency that I hadn't seen
for such a long time
The last time that she came here
she sat in fron of me,
here
on this very bench
placed her hands upon mine
as I played
just to feel the music
that she herself could not create
She cried you know?
From the purity of the moment
so much like her
to feel everything
It's all subjective to her
what holds no meaning for others
in this she finds grace
always
I was unpleasently surprised
at the lack of enthuisiasim
in her quest
perhaps she didn't realize that I was him
not then
What began with such verocity
intent
became waylaid
riddled with pain
if only he would have admitted his deception
she'd know
to look up
and see
me
I brought her back here
just a few days ago
under the guise of work
always work with her
she lives vicaiously through the novels as you well know
requested that she remain under my care
She softly inquired why?
I remarked that while I completely understood the vulnerability that currently held her in a drowning state
that I would not tolerate it any longer
I'm a father figure
she
responds only to strength
this
I knew
all to well of her
The first day she felt apprehension
wandering my home
attempting to appear busy
however the second day
she relented and asked "What do you want?"
I took her hand into mine
walked her to the door
and simply stated
"For you to choose"
She immediately understood
and chose to return inside
There isn't a dare that she'd deny
her nature would never allow for it
this I banked
as my trump card
I asked her to contact him
let him know
that he'd be no more
no more words
no more hurt
above all else, no longer in her life
Though they had ended things politely long ago
she needed to complete the closure
but for me
it was different
I wanted him to know what I had done
who I was
and what would happen from this day on
He should be made aware
because his dream was about to end
mine to begin
so many had attempted to hold onto her
as she floated
I however lead
this is my truth
ambition is not something that she lacks
Quite the contrary
for all that she had done
up until this point
had been for Prevenient Grace
not for fame
or monetary gain
I'd suppose that no one had taken the time to read the latin
or speak to her in belief
So perhaps she began
pulling away
In any case
I had a decision to make
And like any good father figure
I did so
to heal her bruised soul
I asked the right questions
taught her what she needed to know
led her to the place where she is now
The prose changed
dramatically
impressive really
to not only see the words
but to feel them
She's been sequestered
by 'copious capitulation' as she lovingly refers to it as
to Dallas
where she remains
until her strength returns
Prevenient Grace comes to us all
if only we believe
and I believe
in her
and
I
Declan McDaniels
Special gratitude for Rick, your kind words were heartfelt, appreciated and adored,
thank you.
Frmo my hand to yours,
Sawyer
Saint Andrews
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