I took her on under the guise of friend.
I thought it best, as did the others not to alert her as to who I really was. Already defensive and hyper vigilant, Heather was unable to trust willingly. There seemed to be little choice. Decieve and quite possibly have her wall up her emotions completely (upon discovery) or be honest and know refusal from the go.
So I decieved. She didn't really seem to afford me much latitude in either case, something that I was unaccustomed to. Women tend to lean on me, fall for my charm, inheritantly trust.
Heather was different. Her walls, built to protect her heart I had assumed, were insurmountable.
Later, I was to discover it wasn't the case. She chose to protect others, not herself.
I had thought that perhaps this might be a plausable explanation, but it was quickly dismissed; my intellect refused to allow it.
I spoke to her of residing in my home for a time, I thought in doing so she'd enjoy some peace, a relative reprieve from the stresses of the external.
I held high hopes that by utilizing the isolation I could ascertain, and diagnose the problem, the darkness engulfing her.
The first few days Heather remained withdrawn, quiet. I spoke of my life, travels, family. Anything that I thought would bring her into conversation I made the attempt.
She merely nodded, smiled once in awhile. One thing noticed however, was the constant eye contact. Heather never wavered. Never.
We shared meals, watched a movie or two. She rarely uttered a word. By her closest friends I found that she was previously talkative, outgoing and carefree.
This
this was not the woman sitting on the couch across from me smiling sweetly.
When I gently inquired about her last relationship she glanced downward
remarking very quielty that he had desired another
but upon reflection, and bearing witness to the new love she had known relief.
Heather held no wish to be what she was not, or for that matter change who she was.
I felt elated that she would share what little information she did.
That particular evening I woke to a slight noise, only to bump into Heather directly across from my room. Her natural beauty swept me away. Her hair was damp, strewn on to her freckled shoulders.
I suddenly found myself abandoning the ethics that I had sworn to uphold.
Passion, in all of its intensity had drawn me past what I would have ever dreamt that it would.
I said nothing, I touched her waist, applied a bit of pressure. I had to let go. Let her get back to bed...
Had to place the memory of that white satin gown clinging to her body behind me.
I lie in bed wide awake...
Nights later we ran into one another again, only on this occassion I chose to linger.
I wanted her.
I wanted her badly. I also wanted to heal her heart.
The man in me simply wanted to take her for my own. What was happening between the two of us was surpassing reason.
Friday she woke screaming...I rushed into the guest bedroom, sat on the bed beside her and held her with all of my might...
she trembled, weeping softly. I asked her what had transpired and in desperation she admitted that she had been suffering from the severity of night terrors. The dark man had been continually haunting her.
I did what you'd expect. I explained that it wasn't real, that I was there for her, etc.
She pointed over my shoulder
He stood, arms crossed. Black shirt, piercing eyes of blue.
"Why hello Doc. I see we have something in common..."
This week has been full, alot of work so many revelations that brought me pause.
Looking forward to coming back to Dallas soon.
Enjoy your week,
From my hand to yours,
Sawyer
Saint Andrews
