CTP excerpt

Robert,

this is for you...you rush in always at the nick of time and I am always grateful.

Saturday I just thought, time to get myself on vacation. Time to really lift this off of my shoulders...

Dallas, end of September, a brutally rain-filled day

I had decided to speak to one of my friends from out of town. I had planned what I would reveal, carefully so.

Rarely detered I phoned. Excuses...seemingly endless ones. What the hell is the point in refering to yourself as my friend when you obviously only one are your own terms? I lit into his sensibilities.

I had become exhausted, over worked and needed to not only blow off steam but to finally reveal what was driving this insatiabe need to complete the latin text.

Still he'd have none of it.

I attended a rather posh event later that evening...internally feeling the effects of alcohol and extreme pressure. I shouted. I can laugh about it now...a close friend rushing in and wrapping his strong arms around me and at last fending off the others. I could breathe, if not momentarily.

We had a good talk, some laughs. He had to leave me to it however. In all honesty, because I don't carry on like that I should've been set aside.

I went on though...

Had several more, love that gin...I would suppose it's becoming a yearly event. I somewhere, became a wine drinker, and a slow one at that.

Back to the story...I drank. Drank some more and then added to that.

Don't fool yourself in counting the sheets to the wind. I was in the wind...

Robert came.

Interesting because only a select handful were aware of my desire to meet the man...although having said that I had written about him prior. It wasn't as though he wouldn't have seen it, or for that matter been made aware.

His swagger was evident as he waltzed in the through the grand entrance.

I held recognition with immediacy. I tell you this in complete truth: he appeared quite amazing to me.

Attractive, though I knew long ago his appearence would cause a stir in any circumstance.

His eyes were slightly darkened...perhaps the lighting?

In any case Robert approached me. I had to laugh, what was I to say to this man?

In my mind I cringed, had he read what I had written about him and was to voice his anger?

His temper was known.

His eyes danced, ah so he had been consuming some of the spirits...

Robert towered over me.

"Heard that you were looking for me?"

I smiled. Are you kidding me? (I thought) Who wouldn't have wanted to be in this seat at this very second?!

"I was."

"Well I'm here. You're here. Sawyer, that is your name correct?"

"Yes."

"I read it."

"Oh shit." ( I covered my mouth, horrified that I had swore in front of him)

He laughed quite a bit, acknowledging the fact that as much as he knew my language to be 'colorful' that I would be intimidated enough to blush in front of him, at my faults.

"It's fine. Let me ask you something...you were quite overt in your intent. I'm wondering with such brashness why you'd shirk the second I walked in here?"
"Who says I'm shirking? I'm only 5'0. I don't shirk. Blush some, perhaps..."

"I'll give you that Saint Andrews, but a shirk is a shirk honey."

"Are we going to debate shirks all night?"

He smirked. "It's not entirely a problem...of course (he placed both hands on either side of the leather bar stool that I was sitting on, leaned closely into my face) I really think that we should talk about why I'm here."

(Let me be truthful with you here...I wanted to run out of there...I really did. Two things prevented me. Shoes that I had no business wearing. Secondly I was intoxicated. I also wanted to hear him speak. His speech was intellectual and melodic.)

"Yes Robert?"

"No one refers to me as that and you know it. Why then?"
"Using your name that way, or writing?"
"Let's start with what you wrote. I wasn't asked first. You could've considered that I'd be somewhat peeved. cognitive bias doesn't provide you with license honey."

"So you're angry?"

"Annoyed."

"It was a nice piece though, you have to admit."

"IF I had wanted you to write it, I would've approached you."

"Rob, you're kind of leaning in on me..."

"This is a problem?"

"I'm becoming confused. Just sit down for a bit."

"No, I'm comforatable this way and for the record, I'm not angry at this particular moment. I'd like to know the real reason that you did it, and spare me the bullshit. I've researched you and I discovered the sub text, I know about Prevenient Grace, had your editor who you can hate later for the betrayal, send me over the maunscript. So what is it Sawyer?"
( I did wonder if I could hold back the tears)

"I did it for grace."

Robert stood up tall, completely towering over me, moving in even closer proximity.

"Mmmmm baby girl...this was all for Declan?"

"It was."

"Why didn't you simply ask?"

"You're married last time that I checked."

"Should've checked again then. I've been divorced for quite some time."

"Really?"

"Really. I have a room upstairs. I'm not enjoying this bar or its drama."

"What drama?"

"Sawyer, you did write-"

"Oh fine Robert. Forbid that you actually came in here with your own issue with preconceptions."

"Emotional baggage and it is what it is. Deal with it. Now take my hand, I am honestly done with speaking to you about it, the novel and anything else. You wrote in latin using cadence to set in motion the very circumstance that is transpiring. Let's go."

"I can't just- I mean, I'm not like that Rob..."

He really let loose a hearty bout of laughter "I'm not taking you to bed just yet. It was understood prescisely what you wanted. There's a justice of the peace upstairs. Have your church later. Trust in me. Have a little faith. You DID do this all on faith didn't you?"

"I did."

Robert held his hand out and took mine into his. I afforded him the latitude that he required as he led me throughout the magnificant hotel. Everyone was staring, were they seeing things or was this actually HIM? I grinned. Yeah it was him and he is legend, and somehow Prevenient Grace had prevailed...

I had given up all hope and yet here I was...

Here we were...

Faith and trust as our companions to guide us down a completely unknown path.

As in the novel, on grace alone, we'd not question, we'd relinquish.

It was time to turn the page.

Well I hope that you enjoyed this. Ctp is a really great project about Segar, and having a blast turning it into a reality. Its refreshing to do while working on other projects. Due out in October is "The Garrsion Effect" give me a hollah if you need any information.

Robert, to you I just wanted you to know that I do listen when you pull me back.

John just wanted to thank you again for being a great friend in the knick of time for me,

appreciated. Muah!

From my hand to yours,

Sawyer

Saint Andrews