Merry Christmas to all of you, mas gut...
Here's a truth, no one desires to be forgotten at Christmas, no matter the age...
We tell ourselves that its alright...
quantify our actions by remarking that it just a 'hallmark holiday' when in fact it is simply a day of rememberance...
The religious aspects are so vast and deeply personal that this I won't dare mention, suffice to say that this is your one opportunity to extend yourself beyond what your mind dictates.
This is the one time of year that your heart can truly touch another...
So it is in this spirit I tell this tale:
"I took along time to decide what to purchase/give to my love on Christmas...he didn't really celebrate the holiday...didn't want anything...
what could I give that I hadn't already? So I remembered what had compelled me to become friends with him in the first.
He shared a name of a man that I knew as a boy. My first love.
So, after much consideration and self debate I decided that I'd give to him the most treasured piece that I owned, one that had been given to me in my darkest hours...
I wrapped up the precious, flattened silver coin now placed in a lil box for him. Torn I was, thinking of how many times I had held this in my hand, in my very own pocket for security....I rememeberd the story of the coin, so very many years ago...
As friends, falling desperately in love we stood amongst many...placed the bit of silver on the train tracks...waited for the train to pass....all holding hands and wishing together that our futures would all continue with one another to care for...
he handed the hot, flat piece to me and oathed us all to heed the gift of the moment.
For years we'd hand silver pieces between oursleves, during times of trial, and those of sorrow...
But never could I part with the original. It represented that time, that love between us all...
and so, the years passed...
The tradition passed on through so many....
Christmas came...he e mailed me salutations...
no call. didn't stop by.
I had been forgotten. You see I never wanted a gift. I wanted to be remembered...to know that I was loved.
But I wasn't.
I pitched his gift into the bin. Perhaps this wasn't ever meant for anyone afterall...
A knock on the door came, I wiped the tears of frustration from my eyes and wearily answered...
it was a neighbor, she had recieved my mail in her box, so sorry etc, I thanked her politely, wished her a Merry Christmas and closed the door.
A lone Christmas card from England.
I opened it to find a beautiful card, given to me by one of my good friends going through a similiar situation. There, tucked into the fold was a six pence...
a coin from Christmas past sent to Christmas present...
Sent to wish me hope...
I can't express how such a gesture made me feel. I had been remembered afterall!
I didn't have a lil Tim to give a shout at, but I did remember to feed the dog lol
and in truth I gave the coin that had been pitched away to a stranger...who knows? Maybe it'll touch his life the way any kind gesture is sure to do...
Okay then! Whew, that was sad...time to move on and get ourselves happy!
I have 2 writings for you, one is an insert, because I do so enjoy writing them....and the second is a partial opening to Prevenient Grace, but will only show up in the first 12 novels, so look for those!
Take a look at me;
I've become a reflection of the love that you hold for me in your heart
You're as beautiful to me as the thousand or so songs playing repeatedly in my mind
its your music
that is the soundtrack of the very best of my memories
How could you be anything but my love?
Wrapped in the security of my arms you lead me back
home
I'm drunk in the intoxication that is you
take a look at me...so that I might paint this memory,
imprint the picture onto my soul
I cannot stand without you by my side, for its you that is my lifes map
you are the direction
the guiding compass that brings me to life from the death of slumber
Take a look at me
Don't look away...face what stands before you now
the reflection of the purest of loves
for it is in your eyes that I am mirrored
to become what I wass truly destined to be
today, on the morrow
I could be no less than every expectation of the dreams that steal you away from me
with each nights closing
Just look at me
tell me what it is that you see?
Do I reflect the desire in your heart? Am I the man that you kneel and pray for each moons rising?
Prevenient Grace brings me here, to you....
sent here to see the relfection of who I've always been:
yours.
(During a book signing/release party, Austin Texas, the pub 'Fados' hosting)
Sawyer sat near the fireplace laughing, enjoying the moment. I would suppose that unbeknownst to everyone, she was in fact really hurt by the fact that her date for the evening had suddenly declined - stating his usual 'I really don't enjoy crowds'. Forget about the fact that this was a moment to be shared, enjoyed together...but that was who he was, uncaring, unreliable and in all probability unable to realize love with her.
Did she know? Surely, she simply never spoke of it. So she smiled, pretended, she was certainly good at that these days.
Declan McDaniel held no such reservations. He had dreamt about this woman for weeks. Read her books, her intimate blog...no, he'd have her by any means possible.
Wearing a black, well tailored suit the well built Scotsman made his way to where she was sitting. Sawyer didn't readily look up, though the scent of Burberry cologne was gathering her senses...
he cleared his throat, finally bringing her eyes up to his... He's so beautiful she thought...intense sea blue eyes...sandy colored hair, greying at the temples...
"Hi"
He smiled but refused to speak to her in English, rather, he chose German. (translated for you)
"Hello Sawyer. I know that you speak in this, so I choose to utilize this fact so that we may speak in privacy amongst those who would listen and not full comprehend what it is that I say to you now. Sawyer, I have the dreams of Previenent Grace, do you share in this?"
(also in German she replied intently) "yes"
"I'm here to take you home. I understand that you will not readily do so without proof of who I am, so you'll find in the envelope all that I shared with you in my dreams" he promptly removed the white envelope from his suit pocket and handed it to her.
Once opened and quickly read Sawyer understood that this was the man that she had written about, that he not only comprehended the subtext but within himself could have easily narrated it...
"I am a man of great means, so you will have no concerns in regard to these matters, but first you must agree to my conditions: you will leave with me now, tonight. I have no time for folly, nor do I care to prolong what is already known to you and I. Prevenient Grace is a gift not to be triffled with, not by your fears or my concerns.
We are to follow in this guide, am I being perfectly clear to you? do you require me to speak in English?"
"no, go on"
"I understand that you're a priest, and that you'll not simply heed the call"
"No, I wouldn't just"
" I propose that we oath this as you would"
"do you know how?"
"I am a learned man, yes"
Declan promptly took a container of salt stashed in his deep pockets and upon its withdrawl opened it and scattered it around his person, motioning for her to stand up in front of him.
She complied, thereby placing the salt behind her person. Sawyer reached up and began loosening his tie, unbuttoning the first several buttons of his shirt...noticing the tell tale ancient coin dangling from the gold chain...she had seen this before....nightly, in her dreams...Sawyer smiled through her tears of recognition. He aknowledged Sawyers rising emotions whilst then leaning down and grasping the ancient dagger from his brief case. The blade presented itself as jagged, the handle jet black. He handed it to her, bowing his head as he did so.
She accepted, gladly, and also bowed her head to him. For a moment their eyes merely searched one anothers...he drew closer to her and began tenderly unbuttoning her crisp white blouse, partially exposing her laced brassiere...the others attending all turned to bear witness to the specticle that was unfolding just now, before them all...
He allowed himself to smile, just a bit, at his self satisfaction. Sawyer waited patiently for him to complete the task, looking down at his nimble, strong hands. She took the right one into hers, palms up, exposed for all to see gently slicing it open. Quickly releasing his hand she took to his chest, utilizing the daggers razor sharp edge to slice into his flesh, 3" diagonally- a stretch of skin located just above his heart. Declan stood there, stoicly, never flinching or exposing any signs of discomfort.
When it was his turn, with dagger in hand (that she had provided possession of) he preformed the same actions on her person, though astutely choosing her left palm to that of her right, in regard to her dominance over writing preference. The blood from the wound above her left breast began redenning her blouse, much to the horror of the many onlookers....Declan ignored the gasps from the crowd, and simply placed her tiny, bloodied hand onto his open wound, with her mirroring his actions -placing his generous hand over her bleeding wound
"So it is done then"
"So it is" He withdrew a small white linen handkerchief from his breast suit pocket and pressed it gently to her wound, to soak up the excess blood and to spare her expensive blouse any further staining...
He leaned into her person, rather seductively...she clearly held an unspoken trust for the man, he did afterall hold a dagger in his free hand...
"Now there is all but one thing left between us Sawyer..."
this she knew as truth...
"qui tacet consentit"
(silence gives consent)
Well I hope that you enjoyed this week in the world of the not quite a Saint, not quite a sinner, what is my mind lol...
Happy Holidays!
From my hand to yours,
Sawyer
Saint Andrews
Here's a truth, no one desires to be forgotten at Christmas, no matter the age...
We tell ourselves that its alright...
quantify our actions by remarking that it just a 'hallmark holiday' when in fact it is simply a day of rememberance...
The religious aspects are so vast and deeply personal that this I won't dare mention, suffice to say that this is your one opportunity to extend yourself beyond what your mind dictates.
This is the one time of year that your heart can truly touch another...
So it is in this spirit I tell this tale:
"I took along time to decide what to purchase/give to my love on Christmas...he didn't really celebrate the holiday...didn't want anything...
what could I give that I hadn't already? So I remembered what had compelled me to become friends with him in the first.
He shared a name of a man that I knew as a boy. My first love.
So, after much consideration and self debate I decided that I'd give to him the most treasured piece that I owned, one that had been given to me in my darkest hours...
I wrapped up the precious, flattened silver coin now placed in a lil box for him. Torn I was, thinking of how many times I had held this in my hand, in my very own pocket for security....I rememeberd the story of the coin, so very many years ago...
As friends, falling desperately in love we stood amongst many...placed the bit of silver on the train tracks...waited for the train to pass....all holding hands and wishing together that our futures would all continue with one another to care for...
he handed the hot, flat piece to me and oathed us all to heed the gift of the moment.
For years we'd hand silver pieces between oursleves, during times of trial, and those of sorrow...
But never could I part with the original. It represented that time, that love between us all...
and so, the years passed...
The tradition passed on through so many....
Christmas came...he e mailed me salutations...
no call. didn't stop by.
I had been forgotten. You see I never wanted a gift. I wanted to be remembered...to know that I was loved.
But I wasn't.
I pitched his gift into the bin. Perhaps this wasn't ever meant for anyone afterall...
A knock on the door came, I wiped the tears of frustration from my eyes and wearily answered...
it was a neighbor, she had recieved my mail in her box, so sorry etc, I thanked her politely, wished her a Merry Christmas and closed the door.
A lone Christmas card from England.
I opened it to find a beautiful card, given to me by one of my good friends going through a similiar situation. There, tucked into the fold was a six pence...
a coin from Christmas past sent to Christmas present...
Sent to wish me hope...
I can't express how such a gesture made me feel. I had been remembered afterall!
I didn't have a lil Tim to give a shout at, but I did remember to feed the dog lol
and in truth I gave the coin that had been pitched away to a stranger...who knows? Maybe it'll touch his life the way any kind gesture is sure to do...
Okay then! Whew, that was sad...time to move on and get ourselves happy!
I have 2 writings for you, one is an insert, because I do so enjoy writing them....and the second is a partial opening to Prevenient Grace, but will only show up in the first 12 novels, so look for those!
Take a look at me;
I've become a reflection of the love that you hold for me in your heart
You're as beautiful to me as the thousand or so songs playing repeatedly in my mind
its your music
that is the soundtrack of the very best of my memories
How could you be anything but my love?
Wrapped in the security of my arms you lead me back
home
I'm drunk in the intoxication that is you
take a look at me...so that I might paint this memory,
imprint the picture onto my soul
I cannot stand without you by my side, for its you that is my lifes map
you are the direction
the guiding compass that brings me to life from the death of slumber
Take a look at me
Don't look away...face what stands before you now
the reflection of the purest of loves
for it is in your eyes that I am mirrored
to become what I wass truly destined to be
today, on the morrow
I could be no less than every expectation of the dreams that steal you away from me
with each nights closing
Just look at me
tell me what it is that you see?
Do I reflect the desire in your heart? Am I the man that you kneel and pray for each moons rising?
Prevenient Grace brings me here, to you....
sent here to see the relfection of who I've always been:
yours.
(During a book signing/release party, Austin Texas, the pub 'Fados' hosting)
Sawyer sat near the fireplace laughing, enjoying the moment. I would suppose that unbeknownst to everyone, she was in fact really hurt by the fact that her date for the evening had suddenly declined - stating his usual 'I really don't enjoy crowds'. Forget about the fact that this was a moment to be shared, enjoyed together...but that was who he was, uncaring, unreliable and in all probability unable to realize love with her.
Did she know? Surely, she simply never spoke of it. So she smiled, pretended, she was certainly good at that these days.
Declan McDaniel held no such reservations. He had dreamt about this woman for weeks. Read her books, her intimate blog...no, he'd have her by any means possible.
Wearing a black, well tailored suit the well built Scotsman made his way to where she was sitting. Sawyer didn't readily look up, though the scent of Burberry cologne was gathering her senses...
he cleared his throat, finally bringing her eyes up to his... He's so beautiful she thought...intense sea blue eyes...sandy colored hair, greying at the temples...
"Hi"
He smiled but refused to speak to her in English, rather, he chose German. (translated for you)
"Hello Sawyer. I know that you speak in this, so I choose to utilize this fact so that we may speak in privacy amongst those who would listen and not full comprehend what it is that I say to you now. Sawyer, I have the dreams of Previenent Grace, do you share in this?"
(also in German she replied intently) "yes"
"I'm here to take you home. I understand that you will not readily do so without proof of who I am, so you'll find in the envelope all that I shared with you in my dreams" he promptly removed the white envelope from his suit pocket and handed it to her.
Once opened and quickly read Sawyer understood that this was the man that she had written about, that he not only comprehended the subtext but within himself could have easily narrated it...
"I am a man of great means, so you will have no concerns in regard to these matters, but first you must agree to my conditions: you will leave with me now, tonight. I have no time for folly, nor do I care to prolong what is already known to you and I. Prevenient Grace is a gift not to be triffled with, not by your fears or my concerns.
We are to follow in this guide, am I being perfectly clear to you? do you require me to speak in English?"
"no, go on"
"I understand that you're a priest, and that you'll not simply heed the call"
"No, I wouldn't just"
" I propose that we oath this as you would"
"do you know how?"
"I am a learned man, yes"
Declan promptly took a container of salt stashed in his deep pockets and upon its withdrawl opened it and scattered it around his person, motioning for her to stand up in front of him.
She complied, thereby placing the salt behind her person. Sawyer reached up and began loosening his tie, unbuttoning the first several buttons of his shirt...noticing the tell tale ancient coin dangling from the gold chain...she had seen this before....nightly, in her dreams...Sawyer smiled through her tears of recognition. He aknowledged Sawyers rising emotions whilst then leaning down and grasping the ancient dagger from his brief case. The blade presented itself as jagged, the handle jet black. He handed it to her, bowing his head as he did so.
She accepted, gladly, and also bowed her head to him. For a moment their eyes merely searched one anothers...he drew closer to her and began tenderly unbuttoning her crisp white blouse, partially exposing her laced brassiere...the others attending all turned to bear witness to the specticle that was unfolding just now, before them all...
He allowed himself to smile, just a bit, at his self satisfaction. Sawyer waited patiently for him to complete the task, looking down at his nimble, strong hands. She took the right one into hers, palms up, exposed for all to see gently slicing it open. Quickly releasing his hand she took to his chest, utilizing the daggers razor sharp edge to slice into his flesh, 3" diagonally- a stretch of skin located just above his heart. Declan stood there, stoicly, never flinching or exposing any signs of discomfort.
When it was his turn, with dagger in hand (that she had provided possession of) he preformed the same actions on her person, though astutely choosing her left palm to that of her right, in regard to her dominance over writing preference. The blood from the wound above her left breast began redenning her blouse, much to the horror of the many onlookers....Declan ignored the gasps from the crowd, and simply placed her tiny, bloodied hand onto his open wound, with her mirroring his actions -placing his generous hand over her bleeding wound
"So it is done then"
"So it is" He withdrew a small white linen handkerchief from his breast suit pocket and pressed it gently to her wound, to soak up the excess blood and to spare her expensive blouse any further staining...
He leaned into her person, rather seductively...she clearly held an unspoken trust for the man, he did afterall hold a dagger in his free hand...
"Now there is all but one thing left between us Sawyer..."
this she knew as truth...
"qui tacet consentit"
(silence gives consent)
Well I hope that you enjoyed this week in the world of the not quite a Saint, not quite a sinner, what is my mind lol...
Happy Holidays!
From my hand to yours,
Sawyer
Saint Andrews
