Prevenient Grace

On a personal note, thank you Scott for all of your time and efforts on my behalf, and of course the novel, without you we wouldn't be here, at this place and time.


For the others who have spared no time or expense in extending themselves, I thank you.


And for the one who dropped the ball, well, I don't know exactly what to say, other than I wish you hadn't. Even though this is a tremendous amount of work, you would've discovered its worth, work in this genre is a blessing, no matter the trial.





So here we go...





She knew exhaustion, writing prose that she truly believed in, at first.


When he came into the picture, 'he' being the man that she held the utmost trust in, her self view altered.


Quite frankly he did her a diservice with his disbelief.


She wavered


where she would've never before


Prior to him


she held strong onto the dream





She didn't believe that I would read her prose


that I would see


happen upon it


as so many others would


before me





I found out later, in a long list of men, that they too had approached her


speaking the ultimate un truth:


"I am Declan"


when they could not be


or even close





I have been in search of Prevenient Grace


It was I who kneeled praying for it


as did she





While I played the piano,


seeking solace


I realized that her prayers mirrored my own


that he had hurt her tremendously


that she was lost


I witnessed this in her eyes


reflecting an urgency that I hadn't seen


for such a long time





The last time that she came here


she sat in fron of me,


here


on this very bench


placed her hands upon mine


as I played


just to feel the music


that she herself could not create





She cried you know?


From the purity of the moment


so much like her


to feel everything



It's all subjective to her


what holds no meaning for others


in this she finds grace


always





I was unpleasently surprised


at the lack of enthuisiasim


in her quest


perhaps she didn't realize that I was him


not then





What began with such verocity


intent


became waylaid


riddled with pain


if only he would have admitted his deception


she'd know


to look up


and see


me





I brought her back here


just a few days ago


under the guise of work


always work with her


she lives vicaiously through the novels as you well know


requested that she remain under my care





She softly inquired why?


I remarked that while I completely understood the vulnerability that currently held her in a drowning state


that I would not tolerate it any longer


I'm a father figure


she


responds only to strength


this


I knew


all to well of her





The first day she felt apprehension


wandering my home


attempting to appear busy


however the second day


she relented and asked "What do you want?"


I took her hand into mine


walked her to the door


and simply stated


"For you to choose"





She immediately understood


and chose to return inside


There isn't a dare that she'd deny


her nature would never allow for it


this I banked


as my trump card





I asked her to contact him


let him know


that he'd be no more


no more words


no more hurt


above all else, no longer in her life





Though they had ended things politely long ago


she needed to complete the closure


but for me


it was different


I wanted him to know what I had done


who I was


and what would happen from this day on





He should be made aware


because his dream was about to end


mine to begin


so many had attempted to hold onto her


as she floated


I however lead


this is my truth


ambition is not something that she lacks





Quite the contrary


for all that she had done


up until this point


had been for Prevenient Grace


not for fame


or monetary gain





I'd suppose that no one had taken the time to read the latin


or speak to her in belief





So perhaps she began


pulling away





In any case


I had a decision to make


And like any good father figure


I did so


to heal her bruised soul


I asked the right questions


taught her what she needed to know


led her to the place where she is now





The prose changed


dramatically


impressive really


to not only see the words


but to feel them





She's been sequestered


by 'copious capitulation' as she lovingly refers to it as


to Dallas


where she remains


until her strength returns





Prevenient Grace comes to us all


if only we believe


and I believe


in her


and


I





Declan McDaniels








Special gratitude for Rick, your kind words were heartfelt, appreciated and adored,


thank you.





Frmo my hand to yours,





Sawyer


Saint Andrews

Blue eyes dancing

I bore witness to true love

the truest love

from a man who would openly tell you

that he does not love superficially

only delves into

your heart

His daughter rushed into his arms

after having been away

for a time

and time is so brief in childhood

as we all are keenly aware

His blue eyes danced

Sparkled with untold joy

love

the depth that only a parent knows for his child

his head tossed back with laughter

news of her day

tales of her violin lesson

lightened his heart

As I looked on

I thought ah, so he loves with depth

how amazing

and how fortunate

for those that he truly loves

in his life

his friends

those he mentors

There were words of anger spoken across a table

ones that I chose not to respond to

yet he did

he reached across the wooden barrier

ignoring the others who would ruin the moment

between friends

and extended his strong hand

He asked of me

What would you like to say Sawyer?

my response was in latin, for his ears only

because he was well aware of the secret behind the hair falling down to my shoulders

"Alis volat propris selum proferre, alis grave nil"

I barely whispered

In response he offered this:

John made a promise to you, keep my hand in yours and hear this Sawyer:

"Haec ego multis scribo sedtibi sal is enin magnum alter alteri sumus. Truth? I am learned, but I will lead you your life long, if you'd afford me this role."

I understood his meaning, nodded to John for his input, a promise fulfilled, grateful.

Addressed the man before me

Keeping hold of his hand, mind you

I will follow,

if not to know your brilliance

to find my own

more than this

to die in your arms

when the time comes

Where else would I fall

but into the arms of the man whose eyes

dance so freely?

who brings me home

in every moment

every bout of laughter

every embrace of shared pain

tears that are wiped and felt deeply in both of our hearts and lifted by the mornings light?

I witnessed those blue eyes

tearing up

welling with emotion

when he stunningly

appeared

top hat

tux

and announced

that today was the last day

that I should realize curious anxiety

Let's put this to rest

the question that stands between us

I want you to know that everyday

I will be in it

and you will be here

for me

And so I ran

through the water

through the street

and onto hollowed ground

vowing to love with honor

What a privaledge

each and every morning

to bare witness

to those baby blues

the sweet, sweet love that they silently speak

Our children

they see this everyday

as well

There will come a time

long after they have grown and moved away

when we pass

hopefully I before him

when I will fall into his arms one last time

go to my rest

the summerlands

with the love of family

and the memory

of the eyes that saw through everything that is me

directly into my heart

and loved me

in spite

of any flaws

or misgivings...

His daughter will marry

love and be loved by a man extraodinary

because the bar had been set so high

by a man

so remarkable

Have a wonderful, blessed week

enjoy the sentiments

From my hand to yours,

Sawyer

Saint Andrews

Dundee

Had a great weekend with a croc wrestler

yes

and it was amazing

fascinating

running across the water in cowboy boots

singing about wee people

laughing at one another

as friends often do

who could ask for a better guide

to Dallas?

He in his indy hat

broad grin

myself with wine in hand

fabulous

to say the least

ran through the streets

arguing about Armani

and the maybach

to drive us to and

fro

Observed as the man crouched on the pillar

turned in color

to suit our mood

lit squares on our right

bold displays of simplicity on our left

a life seen through his eyes

is one of splendor

Rushing home to eat brownies and drink wine on ice

beneath the moon

candle light to warm

trees swaying across the cabana

still can see his blue eyes dancing

Found myself with friends

having nothing to say

thoughts of the croc man

racing across

clouding

Wonderful

to wrestle

with your mind

wrangle the possibilities

No one seems to smile

as much as he

incredible mind

incredible life

shared

if not for just a brief time...

Not many recieve an invitation

of a lifetime

such as this

left the phone

didn't want anything to disrupt the time

Memories

placed on postcards

to relay the joy

tell the story

relegate the imagery to excerpts

Glad to be home

grateful for the laughter

the peace

the exploration

and realizing that I'm about as lucky

as one person can possibly be

From my hand to yours,

Sawyer

Saint Andrews

When I've offered you nothing but friendship

and you say that you don't believe in me

who I am

what I am

Then how can you ever refer to yourself as my friend, your angel?

You loved me, who I was

when I entered your life

as is

until you decided

that someone like me

just couldn't be

real

Yet here I am

still

just me

as I was

before

Friendship is a story that unfolds

not reading material

discarded

when the mood strikes

You strike out at me

thinking that I am left un noticed

I see

I hear

eyes closed in frustration

when I am doubted

Your calls of frantic need

were never left

unheard

your talent recognized

for everything that it was

At war with yourself

with myself as its

casuality

painful

left on the battlefield of your imagination

Still I lean on the wall

of trust

steadfast

realizing that time will tell

us

both

just what is fact

from fiction

I dislike

'I told you so's'

yet this is the path that we are headed down

broken strings

on which to play our song

You spout

that it was never our fate

as if I coveted our friendship

into more than it ever truly was

without inquiring what my heart truly spoke

to yours

I merely believed

when you did not

however what I believed in

was your words

your gift to me

Nothing as overt

as the others

I mean to pursue

my destiny

my truth

not yours

Your belief

or lack of

pushes me to the end of my wits

I've nothing to prove

to you

the mirror does that daily

it doesn't lie

Self loathing

doesn't suit either one of our spirits

nor does doubt

there isn't the room

in the house of souls

We walk towards the light

attempting to find our way home

where our truths

survive us

Take my hand and know my dreams

as they become reality

our prose

coming to life

the promise

fulfilled

for all to read

Names

side by side

in trust

in belief

Have a glorious week,

From my hand to yours,

Sawyer

Saint Andrews

Soul Friend

He knew this game well.

Had played it for the whole of his life...

Come across as open, new, fresh and from a different perspective.

She'd see this as interesting, compelling not to mention in all likelyhood would lower her guard.

He would easily perform his 'wounded man/bad boy' act for as long as it took...

Ascertain what her assets were, lifestyle and fit himself in accordingly.

He'd take her to bed, enjoy the relationship for as long as it remained uncomplicated, walk away when life crept in, ( that was an inevitability) and press forward with the next conquest.

The interest in her monetary status was simple; when he left her, he'd do so without harm. She'd recover that much quicker if she had already knew stability.

And all of that had been going along as planned until Friday evening.

At a table with his collegues, drink in hand, Thomas was jovial.

Business couldn't be better, beautiful woman was in the bag (so to speak) and it appeared as though his summer would be full of excitement.

That was, of course until a disheveled individual made his approach to the table.

Gun in hand, aimed directly at Thomas' chest.

Thomas felt his face drain of all color, his blue eyes watching as his life flash before their sea color would be drained of lifes essence...

She simply smiled as she casually walked by the older man (Thomas)

although Jenn did take considerable pause when she noticed the other man with the gun.

It seemed obvious enough to her; remove the gun from the mans hand, kick him in the groin, punch him in the face and stand on his chest with her left foot.

Jenn really hated when things got out of control.

It was beyond annoying...

She had plans.

Big ones for the night.

There was a man... Kent.

The set up had seemed easy enough, they'd meet, she'd pretend to be amused and enthralled in conversation.

He'd believe her to be a silly blonde, one of no real consequence.

This was her preference.

No fuss, no muss.

No man to tend to, to take care of.

Life was far too brief to deal with strings, complications...

Her left foot placed on his chest meant that

a) her high heel shoe would bother her even more than it already was

b) Jenn had placed herself in the spot light

and

c) she needed a drink badly...

Thomas couldn't believe that his life had been spared, and by all stretches of the imagination, unbelievably done so by a great looking woman...

He looked over at her leg...tan, toned and attatched to a petite busty blonde with amber eyes.

Thomas watched as she reluctantly released the attacker as security raced over to the scene.

She merely sashayed over to the bar, ordered 2 shots of whiskey in individual shot glasses, 1 dram of Pilsner, 1 voss.

Thomas looked on in wonder as she consumed each, 1 directly after another.

Curious he thought.

Thomas approached Jenn with great bravado not realizing that his reputation had finally caught up with him.

"I believe that I owe you a debt of gratitude sweetheart"

"You are worth 2.4 million, you drive an Asti, you're a bore- well basically so, you tend to leave towels on the floor of womens restrooms, I don't know Thomas- shall I continue?"

"So you know of me. If you find me so deplorable than why bother saving my life?"

"Instinct kicked in. Besides, you use women, I use men. We're fairly even. I have a date tonight, now go away Thomas."
"I can't do that, I owe you- this I take seriously, very much so"

"My funds are low, I'd like to have a child, preferably a son within a year. Marry me or get the hell away from my little (and she gestured with her hand circling the area where she stood) space."

"You have got to be joking. I'm not going to marry you or anyone else..."

"Great. So leave me the hell alone, I've got a date and if he sees you he'll think that I have poor taste in men."

"Then why jockey for my sperm donation?"

She grinned "That was to include your bank account as well, I believe that I made myself clear there. Or didn't I? Oh please tell me that I haven't lost my touch."

"And what do I get out of this little deal of yours? Why the hell would I bother with you? Since obviously you know of me, than you are also aware that I can easily have any woman that I want- give or take a few reluctant souls."

"Or savvy ones. Well your choice, your call, make it quick because I am walking away now Thomas."

Thomas was bewildered.

What the hell game was this?

And who the hell was this woman?

As though the entire room stood still, locked in the moment with the unlikely pair

Thomas felt as though he had to square off with Jenn, both reeling from the shock of her statement and to save face

"Marry me. Become my wife."

Thomas' collegues looked on in utter disbelief...

The bar keep (or mixie coach as she refered to him as) who knew her quite well smirked in extreme amusement

No one believed, even for the most brief of moments

even for a mili second

that this pair would actually press forward...

They left the establishment in a hushed fury

Why not Thomas thought?

Hadn't he vowed to marry by his 40th birthday, and wasn't this his 55th year?

What the hell?

Why not...why the hell not...?

Jenn laughed as they left in his 'bachelor' mobile...

"My gosh" she thought "Did this actually attract women? Bleh"

"What?"

"I was just thinking how gosche this auto is"

"It's fast, comfortable and-"

"Save it. I drive a porche."

"Thought you were low on funds?"

"I'm down to 3 million. Yours added to- helps me considerably"

"Really?"

"No, not really"

"Oh"

"Don't worry, I won't require any new clothing or handbags"

"Well that's a relief. Just a baby boy"

"Who will know the best of you and I"
"A play boy and a - what exactly are you?"

"Hmmm, I've never really thought about it. Perhaps a female ninja?"

He laughed "Seriously"

"I'm just non commital"

"Until now"

"Until now, correct"

"Do we have to remain married?"

"Yes we do. If we're going to do this, than let's do this. Oh I'm sorry are you afraid?"

"No. You?"

"No."

They were both lying to one another and themselves. Jenn had no idea but her bar 'coach' had added much more liquer to her drinks than she normal handled.

He did so to validate her valour.

He knew her well, good friend, solid- always stand up.

He never dreamed that his actions would impair his friends judgment

That Jenn never drank more than the first 3, ever, as a rule.

Thomas on the other hand was breaking every rule he had ever, ever, set for himself.

Why you ask?

Because time had just pointed a gun directly at his heart.

His life had almost ended and he was not about to see the woman who had placed herself in harms way for his sake

pass him by

Thomas typed in "Little White Chapel, Las Vegas" into the Gps system.

Regardless of the outcome he was bound and determined to see this through.

Jenn grinned, the alcohol still blurring her thoughts...

***************

Well that was a thought

I wanted to thank everyone for all of the calls and text's with your well wishes.

I appreciated it...

I also posted a little video of the photo shoot from weeks past.

Hope you enjoy the glimpse of how we obtained the book cover.

Enjoy your week ,

and with many blessings wished upon you

from my hand to yours,

Sawyer

Saint Andrews

They met at a quaint corner cafe in Dallas Texas.

She was pleasent enough, he polite. Their business plan had begun to formulate rapidly, much to his relief and delight.

He knew that beneath her brilliant smile she was formidable. This demure, softer version was a direct result of iron will.

He respected the level of restraint, though entirely unexpected.

What he had expected was an arguement over each detail. Silently he thanked the mutual friend who had placed them together, arranged for this to reach fruition.

At one point he quietly excused himself to utilize the facilities, where David became the unfortunate unnoticed witness to detremental banter regarding his guest.

Overheard was this: "Did you see her?"

"Yeah..not bad, cute"

"She's alright. Totally in love with me though. You could do me a solid by coming on to her and steer her clear of me."

"Thought that the two of you were good friends?"

"Ah well, we are, but I can't stand when women give me that doe eyed look, makes me feel like shit"

"She's with somebody Blake"

"As soon as I walk up that dude will fade away...trust me. Listen, she's a great back up plan but honestly? I haven't the time right now, now you on the other hand..."

"I'm divorced, rub it in one more time will you?"

"Uh, I believe that I just did my friend"

"Fine...whats her name?"

"Melody"

Davids stomach tightened, he turned around and made way to his waiting guest, finding her patiently sitting innocently at the tiny table anticipating his return.

David, at 6'3" leaned down moving his face extremely close to hers... "Do you trust me Melody?"

"We just met...I...well you're spoken of highly, so some"

"Listen to me Melody, I realize that we don't know one another and that our relationship is tenuous at this point, but I need you to follow my lead. Believe me when I tell you that I have only your best interests at heart...can you do that?"

"Yes...done"

Out of the corner of her eye she saw the men meandering their way towards the unlikely pair. Her sense was that whatever David was alluding to was in direct result of these two, one friend, one more than likely his wing man.

David placed his hand tenderly upon the side of her face, leaning even further in to kiss her gently. "Ready baby?"

"Yes"

The kiss had moved her a bit, he was incredibly attractive afterall. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon she thought.

"I've loved you a long time, I'm sure you've felt it, yeah?"

"Yes David...It's been wonderful...what we have..."

"It's special, so you agree completely then?"

"Of course"

David stole yet another kiss "Come into me baby"

Melody stood up, their size difference immense, she was petite to his comparitive height.

She ran her hands over his chest, rather enjoying the mock emotion.

"Marry me...don't walk away from today, tomorrow or what our future can hold for us...stay"

She was caught up, if not just a little, by the announcement, though it wasn't true

"Really?"

"Yes...just say yes"

Blake coughed to gain the 'lovers' attention "Excuse me, Melody, why haven't I heard about this before now?"

She smiled. "Oh hi. This is David"

The men shook hands, eyed each other... "Melody is one of my best friends, yet somehow I don't know you?"

"I'm flying her to Vegas, taking her as my wife. I'm truly apologetic that you and I haven't met until now, but life goes that way at times. I have heard alot about you however"

"All good I hope?"

"Nothing but"

"Well Blake as much as I'd love to invite you to spend time with us, we really must be going"

"To Vegas. Right now?"
"Obviously"

Melody hugged Blake and allowed David to spirit her away from the pair of men by hand...

Jeff: "Well played Blake"

"I can't believe this...this is bull shit!"

"You have a choice..."

"No"

"Suit yourself"

Melody giggled. "He's going to realize that we're full of it in about two seconds"

David grinned "I meant it, lets do it"

"They can't hear you David"

"No, I'm being serious...you're beautiful...why not?"
"Because we don't love one another"

"I could grow to love you"

Blake rushed over to the pair...

"Melody! Wait..."

Have a fantastic three day weekend

the brightest of blessings to you all,

From my hand to yours,

Sawyer

Saint Andrews

In this Existance

Writing this early so because I'm going to be busy this next week.

Hope that you enjoy!

And no, the photos do not depict the following prose, in fact, just thought the photo was sweet and funny.

John (Brodrick) was exceptionally kind with his time and energy for the photo shoot.

I recieve a considerable amount of e mails requesting the sub text, etc.

What I'd like to remark to you is this: amongst my close friends I wouldn't reveal anything detremental to their well being.

Nor would I reveal too much of my personal life, although you'd find if you met me that I'm not far removed from my character in the novels, aside of the super werewolf abilities...

(Laughing)

Hmmm that might be something to reach for though...

So, no, this is not for you to read and think harshly of anyone.

Had a dream, wrote it down.

I placed this photo here because I wanted you to gather a glimpse, a candid one, of the photo shoot.

It was a blast!

Saws

In this existance

We're falling down

Drowning from the noise just beyond

our capture

You cannot possibly hold onto me

with promises broken

lies emergence

Your name is not yours alone

one that should have not been taken

not from me

You either are

in this existance

or you aren't

This is my dispute

my tell to pull

rip

tear from your eyes

shatter your views

I hold the mirror up to what flashes

before my eyes

Second glance to you afforded

Until then

until I finally saw the true

not my truth

nor his

I simply saw true

bore its witness

when his smile

that man,

that one in a million

humans' smile

took me back, with remarked surprise

We fell down

onto the pavement

in laughter

in recognition

the moment bringing the floor from up beneath us

We faultered

didn't remain on our backs however

our hands clasped

the fear dissipated

we forged ahead

by your lead

I saw the flash of sadness

in the past

within his green eyes

he had no way of knowing

that we always reclaim

what has been lost to us

Your well wasn't deep

the walls unsteady

to maintain

rushing waters

that only longed for freedom within

the perimeters

of natural beauty

rugged and knowing

Divine discomfort

for we three

when there can only be one with one

At your insistance

your name

was in fact his path

all along

To own desire for the all that is is he

without the mans foundation

you simply hold no substance

with no true comprehension

you fell

down

to your knees

in utter regret

For the first

the remembrance amongst your circle

arrives much to late

Beauty radiates

not always where we would expect

as I myself found

discovered

when his name revealed itself

That you were not the truth

in the manner

in which you had presented yourself

In this existance

he steals what would be yours

and so we all shall fall

to varying degrees...

Yet still my hand extends

if not to help a friend

though he looms over

pulling me away

not desiring us all

to fall

completely

In this existance...

From my hand to yours,

Sawyer

Saint Andrews