Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Blue eyes dancing




I bore witness to true love


the truest love


from a man who would openly tell you


that he does not love superficially


only delves into


your heart




His daughter rushed into his arms


after having been away


for a time


and time is so brief in childhood


as we all are keenly aware


His blue eyes danced




Sparkled with untold joy


love


the depth that only a parent knows for his child


his head tossed back with laughter


news of her day


tales of her violin lesson


lightened his heart




As I looked on


I thought ah, so he loves with depth


how amazing


and how fortunate


for those that he truly loves


in his life


his friends


those he mentors




There were words of anger spoken across a table


ones that I chose not to respond to


yet he did


he reached across the wooden barrier


ignoring the others who would ruin the moment


between friends


and extended his strong hand




He asked of me


What would you like to say Sawyer?


my response was in latin, for his ears only


because he was well aware of the secret behind the hair falling down to my shoulders


"Alis volat propris selum proferre, alis grave nil"


I barely whispered




In response he offered this:


John made a promise to you, keep my hand in yours and hear this Sawyer:


"Haec ego multis scribo sedtibi sal is enin magnum alter alteri sumus. Truth? I am learned, but I will lead you your life long, if you'd afford me this role."


I understood his meaning, nodded to John for his input, a promise fulfilled, grateful.


Addressed the man before me




Keeping hold of his hand, mind you




I will follow,


if not to know your brilliance


to find my own


more than this


to die in your arms


when the time comes




Where else would I fall


but into the arms of the man whose eyes


dance so freely?


who brings me home


in every moment


every bout of laughter


every embrace of shared pain


tears that are wiped and felt deeply in both of our hearts and lifted by the mornings light?




I witnessed those blue eyes


tearing up


welling with emotion


when he stunningly


appeared


top hat


tux


and announced


that today was the last day


that I should realize curious anxiety




Let's put this to rest


the question that stands between us


I want you to know that everyday


I will be in it


and you will be here


for me




And so I ran


through the water


through the street


and onto hollowed ground


vowing to love with honor




What a privaledge


each and every morning


to bare witness


to those baby blues


the sweet, sweet love that they silently speak




Our children


they see this everyday


as well




There will come a time


long after they have grown and moved away


when we pass


hopefully I before him


when I will fall into his arms one last time


go to my rest


the summerlands


with the love of family


and the memory


of the eyes that saw through everything that is me


directly into my heart




and loved me


in spite


of any flaws


or misgivings...




His daughter will marry


love and be loved by a man extraodinary


because the bar had been set so high


by a man


so remarkable




Have a wonderful, blessed week


enjoy the sentiments




From my hand to yours,


Sawyer


Saint Andrews


Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Dundee




Had a great weekend with a croc wrestler


yes


and it was amazing


fascinating


running across the water in cowboy boots


singing about wee people


laughing at one another


as friends often do


who could ask for a better guide


to Dallas?




He in his indy hat


broad grin


myself with wine in hand


fabulous


to say the least


ran through the streets


arguing about Armani


and the maybach


to drive us to and


fro




Observed as the man crouched on the pillar


turned in color


to suit our mood


lit squares on our right


bold displays of simplicity on our left


a life seen through his eyes


is one of splendor




Rushing home to eat brownies and drink wine on ice


beneath the moon


candle light to warm


trees swaying across the cabana


still can see his blue eyes dancing




Found myself with friends


having nothing to say


thoughts of the croc man


racing across


clouding




Wonderful


to wrestle


with your mind


wrangle the possibilities




No one seems to smile


as much as he


incredible mind


incredible life


shared


if not for just a brief time...




Not many recieve an invitation


of a lifetime


such as this


left the phone


didn't want anything to disrupt the time




Memories


placed on postcards


to relay the joy


tell the story


relegate the imagery to excerpts




Glad to be home


grateful for the laughter


the peace


the exploration


and realizing that I'm about as lucky


as one person can possibly be




From my hand to yours,




Sawyer


Saint Andrews

Saturday, June 12, 2010


When I've offered you nothing but friendship

and you say that you don't believe in me

who I am

what I am

Then how can you ever refer to yourself as my friend, your angel?


You loved me, who I was

when I entered your life

as is

until you decided

that someone like me

just couldn't be

real


Yet here I am

still

just me

as I was

before


Friendship is a story that unfolds

not reading material

discarded

when the mood strikes


You strike out at me

thinking that I am left un noticed

I see

I hear

eyes closed in frustration

when I am doubted


Your calls of frantic need

were never left

unheard

your talent recognized

for everything that it was


At war with yourself

with myself as its

casuality

painful

left on the battlefield of your imagination


Still I lean on the wall

of trust

steadfast

realizing that time will tell

us

both

just what is fact

from fiction


I dislike

'I told you so's'

yet this is the path that we are headed down

broken strings

on which to play our song


You spout

that it was never our fate

as if I coveted our friendship

into more than it ever truly was

without inquiring what my heart truly spoke

to yours


I merely believed

when you did not

however what I believed in

was your words

your gift to me


Nothing as overt

as the others

I mean to pursue

my destiny

my truth

not yours


Your belief

or lack of

pushes me to the end of my wits

I've nothing to prove

to you

the mirror does that daily

it doesn't lie


Self loathing

doesn't suit either one of our spirits

nor does doubt

there isn't the room

in the house of souls


We walk towards the light

attempting to find our way home

where our truths

survive us


Take my hand and know my dreams

as they become reality

our prose

coming to life

the promise

fulfilled

for all to read


Names

side by side

in trust

in belief



Have a glorious week,


From my hand to yours,


Sawyer

Saint Andrews

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Soul Friend


He knew this game well.

Had played it for the whole of his life...

Come across as open, new, fresh and from a different perspective.

She'd see this as interesting, compelling not to mention in all likelyhood would lower her guard.

He would easily perform his 'wounded man/bad boy' act for as long as it took...

Ascertain what her assets were, lifestyle and fit himself in accordingly.

He'd take her to bed, enjoy the relationship for as long as it remained uncomplicated, walk away when life crept in, ( that was an inevitability) and press forward with the next conquest.

The interest in her monetary status was simple; when he left her, he'd do so without harm. She'd recover that much quicker if she had already knew stability.



And all of that had been going along as planned until Friday evening.

At a table with his collegues, drink in hand, Thomas was jovial.

Business couldn't be better, beautiful woman was in the bag (so to speak) and it appeared as though his summer would be full of excitement.

That was, of course until a disheveled individual made his approach to the table.

Gun in hand, aimed directly at Thomas' chest.

Thomas felt his face drain of all color, his blue eyes watching as his life flash before their sea color would be drained of lifes essence...


She simply smiled as she casually walked by the older man (Thomas)

although Jenn did take considerable pause when she noticed the other man with the gun.


It seemed obvious enough to her; remove the gun from the mans hand, kick him in the groin, punch him in the face and stand on his chest with her left foot.


Jenn really hated when things got out of control.

It was beyond annoying...

She had plans.

Big ones for the night.

There was a man... Kent.

The set up had seemed easy enough, they'd meet, she'd pretend to be amused and enthralled in conversation.

He'd believe her to be a silly blonde, one of no real consequence.

This was her preference.

No fuss, no muss.

No man to tend to, to take care of.

Life was far too brief to deal with strings, complications...


Her left foot placed on his chest meant that

a) her high heel shoe would bother her even more than it already was

b) Jenn had placed herself in the spot light

and

c) she needed a drink badly...


Thomas couldn't believe that his life had been spared, and by all stretches of the imagination, unbelievably done so by a great looking woman...


He looked over at her leg...tan, toned and attatched to a petite busty blonde with amber eyes.

Thomas watched as she reluctantly released the attacker as security raced over to the scene.

She merely sashayed over to the bar, ordered 2 shots of whiskey in individual shot glasses, 1 dram of Pilsner, 1 voss.

Thomas looked on in wonder as she consumed each, 1 directly after another.

Curious he thought.


Thomas approached Jenn with great bravado not realizing that his reputation had finally caught up with him.

"I believe that I owe you a debt of gratitude sweetheart"

"You are worth 2.4 million, you drive an Asti, you're a bore- well basically so, you tend to leave towels on the floor of womens restrooms, I don't know Thomas- shall I continue?"

"So you know of me. If you find me so deplorable than why bother saving my life?"

"Instinct kicked in. Besides, you use women, I use men. We're fairly even. I have a date tonight, now go away Thomas."
"I can't do that, I owe you- this I take seriously, very much so"

"My funds are low, I'd like to have a child, preferably a son within a year. Marry me or get the hell away from my little (and she gestured with her hand circling the area where she stood) space."

"You have got to be joking. I'm not going to marry you or anyone else..."

"Great. So leave me the hell alone, I've got a date and if he sees you he'll think that I have poor taste in men."

"Then why jockey for my sperm donation?"

She grinned "That was to include your bank account as well, I believe that I made myself clear there. Or didn't I? Oh please tell me that I haven't lost my touch."

"And what do I get out of this little deal of yours? Why the hell would I bother with you? Since obviously you know of me, than you are also aware that I can easily have any woman that I want- give or take a few reluctant souls."

"Or savvy ones. Well your choice, your call, make it quick because I am walking away now Thomas."


Thomas was bewildered.

What the hell game was this?

And who the hell was this woman?


As though the entire room stood still, locked in the moment with the unlikely pair

Thomas felt as though he had to square off with Jenn, both reeling from the shock of her statement and to save face


"Marry me. Become my wife."


Thomas' collegues looked on in utter disbelief...


The bar keep (or mixie coach as she refered to him as) who knew her quite well smirked in extreme amusement


No one believed, even for the most brief of moments

even for a mili second

that this pair would actually press forward...


They left the establishment in a hushed fury

Why not Thomas thought?

Hadn't he vowed to marry by his 40th birthday, and wasn't this his 55th year?

What the hell?

Why not...why the hell not...?


Jenn laughed as they left in his 'bachelor' mobile...

"My gosh" she thought "Did this actually attract women? Bleh"


"What?"

"I was just thinking how gosche this auto is"

"It's fast, comfortable and-"

"Save it. I drive a porche."

"Thought you were low on funds?"

"I'm down to 3 million. Yours added to- helps me considerably"

"Really?"

"No, not really"

"Oh"

"Don't worry, I won't require any new clothing or handbags"

"Well that's a relief. Just a baby boy"

"Who will know the best of you and I"
"A play boy and a - what exactly are you?"

"Hmmm, I've never really thought about it. Perhaps a female ninja?"

He laughed "Seriously"

"I'm just non commital"

"Until now"

"Until now, correct"

"Do we have to remain married?"

"Yes we do. If we're going to do this, than let's do this. Oh I'm sorry are you afraid?"

"No. You?"

"No."


They were both lying to one another and themselves. Jenn had no idea but her bar 'coach' had added much more liquer to her drinks than she normal handled.

He did so to validate her valour.

He knew her well, good friend, solid- always stand up.

He never dreamed that his actions would impair his friends judgment

That Jenn never drank more than the first 3, ever, as a rule.


Thomas on the other hand was breaking every rule he had ever, ever, set for himself.

Why you ask?

Because time had just pointed a gun directly at his heart.

His life had almost ended and he was not about to see the woman who had placed herself in harms way for his sake

pass him by


Thomas typed in "Little White Chapel, Las Vegas" into the Gps system.

Regardless of the outcome he was bound and determined to see this through.

Jenn grinned, the alcohol still blurring her thoughts...


***************

Well that was a thought


I wanted to thank everyone for all of the calls and text's with your well wishes.

I appreciated it...
I also posted a little video of the photo shoot from weeks past.
Hope you enjoy the glimpse of how we obtained the book cover.


Enjoy your week ,

and with many blessings wished upon you


from my hand to yours,

Sawyer

Saint Andrews









Tuesday, May 25, 2010


They met at a quaint corner cafe in Dallas Texas.

She was pleasent enough, he polite. Their business plan had begun to formulate rapidly, much to his relief and delight.

He knew that beneath her brilliant smile she was formidable. This demure, softer version was a direct result of iron will.

He respected the level of restraint, though entirely unexpected.

What he had expected was an arguement over each detail. Silently he thanked the mutual friend who had placed them together, arranged for this to reach fruition.


At one point he quietly excused himself to utilize the facilities, where David became the unfortunate unnoticed witness to detremental banter regarding his guest.

Overheard was this: "Did you see her?"

"Yeah..not bad, cute"

"She's alright. Totally in love with me though. You could do me a solid by coming on to her and steer her clear of me."

"Thought that the two of you were good friends?"

"Ah well, we are, but I can't stand when women give me that doe eyed look, makes me feel like shit"

"She's with somebody Blake"

"As soon as I walk up that dude will fade away...trust me. Listen, she's a great back up plan but honestly? I haven't the time right now, now you on the other hand..."

"I'm divorced, rub it in one more time will you?"

"Uh, I believe that I just did my friend"

"Fine...whats her name?"

"Melody"


Davids stomach tightened, he turned around and made way to his waiting guest, finding her patiently sitting innocently at the tiny table anticipating his return.

David, at 6'3" leaned down moving his face extremely close to hers... "Do you trust me Melody?"

"We just met...I...well you're spoken of highly, so some"

"Listen to me Melody, I realize that we don't know one another and that our relationship is tenuous at this point, but I need you to follow my lead. Believe me when I tell you that I have only your best interests at heart...can you do that?"

"Yes...done"

Out of the corner of her eye she saw the men meandering their way towards the unlikely pair. Her sense was that whatever David was alluding to was in direct result of these two, one friend, one more than likely his wing man.

David placed his hand tenderly upon the side of her face, leaning even further in to kiss her gently. "Ready baby?"

"Yes"

The kiss had moved her a bit, he was incredibly attractive afterall. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon she thought.

"I've loved you a long time, I'm sure you've felt it, yeah?"

"Yes David...It's been wonderful...what we have..."

"It's special, so you agree completely then?"

"Of course"

David stole yet another kiss "Come into me baby"

Melody stood up, their size difference immense, she was petite to his comparitive height.

She ran her hands over his chest, rather enjoying the mock emotion.

"Marry me...don't walk away from today, tomorrow or what our future can hold for us...stay"

She was caught up, if not just a little, by the announcement, though it wasn't true

"Really?"

"Yes...just say yes"


Blake coughed to gain the 'lovers' attention "Excuse me, Melody, why haven't I heard about this before now?"

She smiled. "Oh hi. This is David"

The men shook hands, eyed each other... "Melody is one of my best friends, yet somehow I don't know you?"

"I'm flying her to Vegas, taking her as my wife. I'm truly apologetic that you and I haven't met until now, but life goes that way at times. I have heard alot about you however"

"All good I hope?"

"Nothing but"

"Well Blake as much as I'd love to invite you to spend time with us, we really must be going"

"To Vegas. Right now?"
"Obviously"

Melody hugged Blake and allowed David to spirit her away from the pair of men by hand...


Jeff: "Well played Blake"

"I can't believe this...this is bull shit!"

"You have a choice..."

"No"

"Suit yourself"


Melody giggled. "He's going to realize that we're full of it in about two seconds"

David grinned "I meant it, lets do it"

"They can't hear you David"

"No, I'm being serious...you're beautiful...why not?"
"Because we don't love one another"

"I could grow to love you"

Blake rushed over to the pair...

"Melody! Wait..."


Have a fantastic three day weekend

the brightest of blessings to you all,

From my hand to yours,


Sawyer

Saint Andrews


Thursday, May 13, 2010

In this Existance


Writing this early so because I'm going to be busy this next week.

Hope that you enjoy!

And no, the photos do not depict the following prose, in fact, just thought the photo was sweet and funny.

John (Brodrick) was exceptionally kind with his time and energy for the photo shoot.

I recieve a considerable amount of e mails requesting the sub text, etc.

What I'd like to remark to you is this: amongst my close friends I wouldn't reveal anything detremental to their well being.

Nor would I reveal too much of my personal life, although you'd find if you met me that I'm not far removed from my character in the novels, aside of the super werewolf abilities...

(Laughing)

Hmmm that might be something to reach for though...

So, no, this is not for you to read and think harshly of anyone.

Had a dream, wrote it down.

I placed this photo here because I wanted you to gather a glimpse, a candid one, of the photo shoot.

It was a blast!

Saws


In this existance


We're falling down

Drowning from the noise just beyond

our capture


You cannot possibly hold onto me

with promises broken

lies emergence


Your name is not yours alone

one that should have not been taken

not from me


You either are

in this existance

or you aren't


This is my dispute

my tell to pull

rip

tear from your eyes

shatter your views


I hold the mirror up to what flashes

before my eyes

Second glance to you afforded


Until then

until I finally saw the true

not my truth

nor his

I simply saw true

bore its witness

when his smile

that man,

that one in a million

humans' smile

took me back, with remarked surprise


We fell down

onto the pavement

in laughter

in recognition

the moment bringing the floor from up beneath us


We faultered

didn't remain on our backs however

our hands clasped

the fear dissipated

we forged ahead

by your lead


I saw the flash of sadness

in the past

within his green eyes

he had no way of knowing

that we always reclaim

what has been lost to us


Your well wasn't deep

the walls unsteady

to maintain

rushing waters

that only longed for freedom within

the perimeters

of natural beauty

rugged and knowing


Divine discomfort

for we three

when there can only be one with one


At your insistance

your name

was in fact his path

all along


To own desire for the all that is is he

without the mans foundation

you simply hold no substance

with no true comprehension

you fell

down

to your knees

in utter regret


For the first

the remembrance amongst your circle

arrives much to late


Beauty radiates

not always where we would expect

as I myself found

discovered

when his name revealed itself


That you were not the truth

in the manner

in which you had presented yourself


In this existance

he steals what would be yours

and so we all shall fall

to varying degrees...


Yet still my hand extends

if not to help a friend

though he looms over

pulling me away

not desiring us all

to fall

completely

In this existance...


From my hand to yours,


Sawyer

Saint Andrews




Monday, May 10, 2010

Malak


Okay, I recieved too many e mails etc. not to respond, so here it goes...

please keep in mind that this is FICTION lol


As I lye next to him, I thought to myself that this was foolish.

He should simply state what was on both of our minds,

clear the air...


I subsequently did so, because being northern and all of its implications

meant that being friends

we are true in this endevour

always


I was never concerned with his judgements, or preconceptions

for as we are up at lands' end

our vests are surely full and guarded

though our speech pattern is open and brisk

I simply afford time to allow the tell to unfold


Laying that close

I could feel the pain residing in his chest

I felt terrible for his loss

yet there was nothing that I could do

to alleviate

except reveal the truth


He has a kind heart, though a bruised soul

he is adored

by many

I imagine that they never took the real time to get to know his truth

how sad I thought

as my legs entwined with his


My heart isn't in stow

it's far removed

I had to

because I'm an all or nothing proposition

hard to live with

I can see

Yet it is a worthwhile journey

to take


I can't bring you to that field

to run free

if you're removed from who you really are

I'm built from bricks of life experiences that most would've faultered

knowing


Yet build I did

it's who I am

but I left windows

tore down the walls

eventually

so there would be no glass

just open breezes flowing in...


You might ask

would I

if he asked it of me

the one who defined the boundries


I would grin

at the assumption that he could set me in a place where boundries held someone such as I

to answer the question however

it would take his all

and than some


Anything worthwhile brings you to the cliffs of reason

and test your resolve

I'm no easy win

I stand

I may even glance

but only would relinquish my will to the man who would truly be Declan


Everyone inquires

remarking that Declan is a massive ego, awful sort

he's not

he simply defies what most women would percieve as beautiful


I was given a photo

sometime ago

graphic in nature

I never saw what he wanted me to

I only noticed his arms

wondered if they were strong enough to hold


Had he asked he'd of known


He asked me why I never look directly into his eyes when we speak

because he'd see me

and I wasn't certain that I wouldn't place harm on him

certainly didn't desire to.

I simply don't give too much away

not so quickly


As he lye there

I felt the very same comfort

missing it now

wondering why I do.

I don't see what everyone else sees in him

I see his heart.

I'm hopeful that another will see him this way

so that he might find peace


As we lye there a photographer began taking pictures

I leaned into him swearing of course

rolling over

not wanting the moment captured

it resignated in our memory

and I believe that that is enough


He has the one word to stop me

should he desire

before I run again,


Malak


From my hand to yours,


Sawyer

Saint Andrews