As if busting down that door and rushing through wasn't bartered with haste
riddled by insurmountable obstacles,
that even I
in my grandiose illusion thought to procure
I spoke to a close friend as the glass fell freely from my hands grasp at the sight of him
Prevenient Grace
staring directly into my eyes
I wondered just what had taken him so long to take flight
find his way to the here
the present
Time was all we had
back in the days of dreams
My heart sank;
fell alongside that shattered glass
cutting my leg as it went into pieces
at my feet
Hold on
I thought as I glanced your way
know what I do
embrace the remembrance
It's all we have
Don't let this all be in vain
pierce the moment with words of scribed devotion
sway
tumble out of your comfort zone
Find your way back
As I have
To the truth that brings us all to recognition;
mirroring an honesty that in its entirety awakens the senses
providing purpose
with the skill of years passed us
Prayers realized retain the ultimate price tag
as we vest
rock them in the cradle of our loving arms
tenderly nursing them into our reality
weary from the raging days in pasts that have left us battle torn and scarred for the worse
I recall thinking that you took long enough
and I openly speculated why
if I should find death early now will your love rest my restlessness
ease the pain
that plagued my life
kept me up
each and every night
wishing
hoping
that tonight
would find me
returning the glance that would change my life forever?
Those minutes
frozen in time
held hours spent
anticipating for you to cross the room
remarking that the glass had broken
and that you knew who I was
Not by name
but by soul's shout
quiet as that seemingly would be
in a crowded room
"Whatever it takes" you whispered in a low, steady murmur
The steady decline of surrounding jovial revelers
left you and I to stand alone
a little set back by circumstance
not exactly certain as to what to do next
Supposing that we didn't anticipate this meeting to happen
after all of the time expired
belief diminishing with trials/tribulations
Yet here we were
He reversed the closed off sign
unfroze his heart
melted
right then and there
took my hand into his
and chose to tug
running from all familiar
If not to feel
one last time
in his extended life's experiences
I offered no protest
No matter to opinion
I ran with latitude
to a new place
to exist
succumb to what stood before me
now
We posed no words
seemed to be of no use anyway
told them all that we had to go
In intoxication,
doubt they cared
or noticed for that matter
until we forgot to return
Truth was we jumped on our own path
Forging what we could
with what we had
and
what we lacked
figured it would all come to us in time
I smiled to myself, grief falling from my eyes
as it did
all of those years ago
at that chance meeting
we had us quite a few years
until you were taken away
Last of my chances
spent
not squandered
at the least I had that
Glancing at your name etched into cold, smooth stone
grateful for the warmth of sharing
that very same surname
I felt blessed
while feeling that some prayers are oh so brief
how unfair
still lucky was I
To recognize it
when it came my way...
I felt loved.
I lived
died with you
forever wasn't long enough
so it seems
Well we'll be together again
someday
I suppose
I set a glass down
on the dirt
walked away
wishing that I could relive the moments
in their entirety
all over again...
Lucky was I
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Nobody asked me;
it was of no requirement...
Substance is what it is, our own agendas drive each individual to the means to an end
with little or no consequence to those surrounding
I fall down
with no one to lift me back up
watching my life pass me by
all frozen in minuscule time droplets
an insomniac awaiting slumber
that simply is not going to show its arrival
Can't remember the last time that I truly laughed aloud in revel
just being me
no judgements
I consume
never tasting
knowing texture
realizing the flavor
but who listens to one's outcry?
Did I disappoint?
disregard?
Wasn't I the one who stood when all else faltered?
You're always correct
chalk full of authority
the knowing
the temple of righteousness
when you have no semblance of the line that has become incredibly blurred
There are no white horses left remaining in the stable
not for me
not this time
I made way
offered passage
but wasn't good enough
too much time passed
Should've known that I couldn't
when I wanted to
Lost in chance
introspective when I should've shouted
spoke up
sound is wasted on the deaf who posses the ability to hear
even with signs abound
no one sees
Can't bridge over water still
Captured by what I dreamt
the dead line screaming it all to a halt
caught between the right and wrong
unable to turn this around
I turned to bear witness
once
You didn't know how to stop the train from barreling down the tracks...
Casual collateral
was I
Don't waste your time
By the time you find me
I'll have already forgotten the dreams once had
I won't recognize
you...
You'll find the one
who knows the song
playing in your head
It's just not me
Not my symphony
You'll remain that man in the pew behind me
circling around
feeling defeated
never realizing that I just may have the answer(s)
3:30 am
I'll see you there
wondering why you don't dance in the rain
find your way back
to the dreams that held us together
The common denominator
that brought us there
in that particular moment...
Wasn't I convincing enough?
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
From my hand to yours,
Sawyer
Saint Andrews
